ABOUT: THE GIFT OF ANGER - ARUN GANDHI //by Anoushka Bahadur//

 “YOU GIVE YOURSELF AND THE WORLD A GREAT GIFT

 WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO TAKE A WIDER VIEW AND LOOK 

FOR COMMONALITIES RATHER THAN DIFFERENCES”

‘The Gift of Anger’, authored by Arun Gandhi, is a synopsis of the lessons that the author gleaned during his stay with his grandfather, Mahatma Gandhi. From the theory of non-violence to other areas dealing with various ‘blessings in disguise’, the book is rich in its lessons.

The various chapters of the book explain how the philosophy of non-violence has never meant passivity or weakness, it is about making oneself morally and ethically stronger and being able to move towards the goal of bringing humanity to society. So, paying attention to only a piece of the philosophy of non-violence – absence of physical assault – can reduce the idea of non-violence to a mockery.

Real strength comes from having the right values. Satyagraha, for instance, showed how we can achieve our goals through love and truth because the greatest advances occur only when we give up our distrust and look for strength in passivity and courage.

The most life-changing lesson of the book is probably the one which deals with using anger for good. Anger to people is like gas to the automobile – it fuels us to move forward and get to a better place. But then again, like the Mahatma put it, “An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind”; thus, never fall prey to the toxicity of anger – we often don’t realise that anger is hurting us too. Gain control of your mind, don’t let it control you. Letting anger motivate us to correct wrongs has great value, but only when our real goal is to seek a solution and not just prove that we are right. (An angry and vengeful Gandhi could not have influenced the world as he did).

Never to be afraid to speak up is again one of the most important lessons to be gleaned from this book. A ‘no’ uttered with the deepest conviction is better than a ‘yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble. How would it be even possible to create change in the world if we are afraid to say what is wrong? You prove your strength when you find what matters most deeply to you and are willing to stand up for it, even if the tide seems to be going in a different direction.

Scattered relationships don’t add up to a cohesive society. Development of technology has resulted in people never having been more connected than they are now, but sometimes it seems that they have never been lonelier. Now people spend every moment staring at their smartphones, so they are neither alone nor truly connected to others. Technology has the power to leave us in a state of in-betweenness – which leaves us feeling unharboured.

We do realise that lies play the role of clutter in our minds. A lot of people resort to lies when they feel powerless, thinking lying will make them stronger. Usually though, lying makes us weaker. It is always better to deal with the repercussions of truth than the regret of lies.

Some try to show their humility and humanity by suggesting that we need to teach ‘tolerance’ for each other. But that is coming at the problem from the wrong direction. What could be more condescending than ‘tolerating’ someone else? We cannot absolve ourselves from the responsibility of truly understanding someone with a background unlike our own and being humble enough to accept and appreciate the differences – because every part is important and contributes to the whole. ‘It has always been a mystery how men can feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow beings.’ The greatest human tragedies can often be traced to lack of humility and huge inequalities that result. ‘It is easy to love those who love you, but the real power of non-violence comes when you can love those who hate you.’

Regarding religion, the book has put it in a way which is agreeable to all of us – Every religion has a bit of truth – and the trouble occurs when we think that one bit is the whole and only truth. Religion controls people by threatening them with an angry God who will condemn them to hell if they misbehave. We need to move the world through love, not fear. There are still religions and cultures around the world that treat women with dismissiveness. We must first understand that liberation has to and must first come from within. The same has been explained for peace – if we want peace in the world, we have to find peace in ourselves. The crux being - ‘we must be the change we seek.’ So instead of looking for what others have done wrong, we need to look at ourselves. As it is said – “When you point a finger at someone, you have three fingers pointing back at you”

Sarvodaya – a Sanskrit word meaning ‘welfare for all’ – in joining together, we flourish in ways we never can if we stand alone. You give yourself and the world a great gift when you choose to take a wider view and look for commonalities rather than differences. People with narrower viewpoints want to believe that only their position is correct. They try to boost themselves by undermining others – afraid to be challenged and attack those who offer a wider view. But our goal should be to become a better version than we were the day before.

The book opens a lot of doors of ‘realisation’ – covering a lot of aspects of our lives. Dealing primarily with anger – the book does not only propound ‘how to treat anger’, but it also explains the ‘why’ of this intense emotion. A book worth your time, I recommend this book to all.

Happy Reading :)  

 

Fun Fact – As a kid, Gandhiji was very shy. He would run home as soon as school ended to avoid talking to anyone (and who knew he would end up addressing a whole nation!)